new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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