im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
