Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
