Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
