Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
