Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
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It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
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I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
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