so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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