I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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