can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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