Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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