he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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