she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
