i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
