Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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