Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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