she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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