I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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