It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
