And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
