I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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