Screwed.edu
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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