I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
