no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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