..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
