hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My vagina is officially offended.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
