Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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