OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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