New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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