Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize