So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
