I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
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