my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
