do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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