Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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