Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So apparently I’m into choking now
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
