I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize