The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
is that a dick in a sweater?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
