Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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