I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
