So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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