they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
