I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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