you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
