I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize