I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
