i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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