what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
