If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
