he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
