Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
