some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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