New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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