What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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