Already got asked if we're dating
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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