I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
