You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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