You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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