I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
