New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so let's talk penis.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize