All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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