Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
